Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
