I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
