We need to start having sex underwater more often.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
