Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just blew my weed a kiss
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
