gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
