i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
