I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
