ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
