You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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