HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
