I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
