Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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