After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
