as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
