don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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