Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
