we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Say something about gay babies.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
