I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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