After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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