no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
