their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wannas sexs uuuuu
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
