like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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