Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
