I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
