And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
