nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
