i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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