You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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