i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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