who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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