You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
