i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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