Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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