So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
