she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
