i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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