I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
