she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
