you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
