Tell her she can't have a vagina
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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