I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
