non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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