I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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