White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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