I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
