you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
