she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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