Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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