"it" just moved
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
