my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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