I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
